This abstract shot is of a housing block reflected in some plastic shielding on the inside of a window shutter. What’s appealing to me is the distortion of the reflected building. It got me thinking about communication and about how we all see the world differently.

Use any personality profiling tool and it will tell you that we approach things in different ways. Even the simplest of them will show you four distinct types. Roughly speaking that means that 75% of people approach tasks and communication in a different way to you. Yes that’s a huge over simplification, but what’s important is that we do all see things differently.

Sometimes we think we've been clear with our communication and something totally unexpected comes back to us. Or we’re surprised to find out we upset someone. And it can be hard for us to work out just what happened. Well, barring exceptional circumstances, the answer is that we didn't consider the person receiving the message, just the message itself. Have we got the facts straight? Yes? OK then it’s good to go… No it isn't.

You need to see the message with the other person’s eyes. We tend to write and speak according to our own knowledge, personality, experience, culture and emotional state. Our personal communication filters. But the person trying to absorb or act on that information is doing it through their own set of filters. So, for you to communicate effectively, you need to see how well you can align with their style, needs and preferences.

Do you think they’d prefer to talk in a quiet private place, or chat over coffee? Would you be best to lead by talking about results or process? If they turn up late looking stressed, maybe it would be better to talk about that rather than the changes you want to make to the project? And what about that email; is the person you are sending it to going to get a buzz from you asking about their holiday? Do they have the knowledge required to deal with a particular bit of jargon? Lots to consider.

Will you be able to pitch things 100% right for the person you’re communicating with? Imagine holding your own piece of plastic shielding and trying to match the reflection in the picture exactly. It’s not going to be easy. But the good news is that every little change you make to get you closer to their perspective will make you clearer, more empathetic, more trusted and more convincing.

I used to take lots of photographs of dragonflies. There is a knack to it. Patience is rather important and so is stillness.

The dragonflies whiz about all over the place. They zip off and do what they need to do. Maybe they are hunting, or competing with a rival, or looking for a mate, but they've got stuff to do! They get the job done and usually come back to the same perch. And so your patience and stillness are rewarded.

Dragonflies are fast, agile, high-energy creatures. I imagine if they behaved like that all the time they would soon burn out. But they don’t. They zip off, do what they have to do, zip back, and then they perch. And here’s my question. Do you take the time to perch?

In most jobs the work doesn't stop. There is always something else to do. Leaving the office and going home is just a time-out. The whistle goes and you are right back in the game. So we need to force ourselves to perch from time to time. Stop, take stock, survey what’s going on around you. It’s hard to be strategic when you are rushing from one task to the next.

One idea is to plan your perch time. Book a meeting with yourself in your calendar. Try one hour a week of protected time with yourself to reflect and plan.

Pause every now and then and stay as sharp as a dragonfly.

Does the photo stimulate your thinking in a different way? Do you have ways to help you pause for thought?

Clarity Begins At Home

Pause For Thought